Don’t Ask “How Do You Prefer to Receive Feedback?”

What’s the best way to tell someone they are doing a shxtty job?

Some say a good way is to ask, “How do you prefer to receive feedback?”

This doesn’t work, because most people would just answer “give it to me straight.”

“Give it to me straight” is the “right” answer.

Think about it.

Who on earth would actually say …

“Please I am an emotionally vulnerable person.

Therefore first you need to remind me you value me and all the good you see in me.

Then you need to give me context.

Then gently give me the feedback.

Then know that I will feel angry, I will reject the feedback, I will tell others about how insensitive a boss you are, I will lose sleep over it.

Eventually, I might choose to ignore your feedback, or I might come around and begin to accept your feedback.

Then I might come find you, and thank you.

But more likely than not, you will never really know how I feel.”

Most of us don’t actually want feedback thrown straight into our faces.

This is not a weakness. It’s called being a human.

And the ability to anticipate and work around this nature of human kind is not over-coddling.

It’s empathy. It’s #bossbetter.