You Suck At Giving Feedback

Do you know what it is like to receive harsh critical feedback?

You know, those gut-wrenching/ego-shattering criticisms that humiliate and expose you?

If you don’t know what that’s like, you are probably not good at giving feedback.

“He said my presentation sucked. It lacked passion. The structure was poor. I lost the crowd.

I considered myself an excellent presenter. His criticism triggered a slew of negative emotions and all the self-serving and self-preserving coping mechanisms – I blamed it on others and the environment. I latched onto excuses. I discredited the feedback and its giver.

I wallowed in these emotions for days.
I could not look at the criticism without feeling humiliation and anger.
I blamed everything on him.

I might come around.
I might decide to consider the feedback.
I might come up with actions to improve.
I might follow through with those actions.

I might …”

Most of us rely on the recipient’s ability to go through the emotional struggles, come out, and gain from our feedback.

The best? They take control of the situation and excel in minimizing the emotional roller coaster igniting commitment, and sustaining the evolution.

Feedback is a craft. It takes technique, empathy, and practice.

Work diligently and #bossbetter.