You know, those gut-wrenching/ego-shattering criticisms that humiliate and expose you?

If you don’t know what that’s like, you are probably not good at giving feedback.

“He said my presentation sucked. It lacked passion. The structure was poor. I lost the crowd.

I considered myself an excellent presenter. His criticism triggered a slew of negative emotions and all the self-serving and self-preserving coping mechanisms – I blamed it on others and the environment. I latched onto excuses. I discredited the feedback and its giver.

I wallowed in these emotions for days.
I could not look at the criticism without feeling humiliation and anger.
I blamed everything on him.

I might come around.
I might decide to consider the feedback.
I might come up with actions to improve.
I might follow through with those actions.

I might …”

Most of us rely on the recipient’s ability to go through the emotional struggles, come out, and gain from our feedback.

The best? They take control of the situation and excel in minimizing the emotional roller coaster igniting commitment, and sustaining the evolution.

Feedback is a craft. It takes technique, empathy, and practice.

Work diligently and #bossbetter.

Yet humility is hard. It is an alchemy of honesty, curiosity, and courage- some of the most elusive virtues in the galaxy.

Worst, the side effect of fake humility is hypocrisy, a reputation-ruining tattoo that no managers want on their foreheads.

I want to convince you that there is a way to “fake humility till you make it.”

THE SCHEME
Broadcast your learning to your teams. The key here is you must only share things you’ve learned from them. Not from a book, not from one of Gary Vaynerchuk’s rally cries, but from your teams. Commit to doing this every day.

WHY DOES THIS WORK?
1st, committing something in public improves your chances of achieving it. Most of us aren’t completely shameless.

2nd, when you only share things you learn from them, you will start to taste the feeling of discovering excellence in others. Once you have tasted the greatness in others, you can’t help but be humbled.

Once you have tasted real Kobe beef, you can’t go back.

Trite? Perhaps, but this makes you #bossbetter.