How You Make Them Feel

“I love you?” He asked. 

“I guess not.” 

He was respected by many. I found him manipulative. 

He was the kind of bosses who would go full-on “Maya Angelou” and preach, “It’s how you make people feel!”

Yet somehow, I would always feel good after chatting with him, after being in meetings with him, even after being chewed out by him.

I didn’t like to being jedi-mindtricked so predictably. “You cannot escape your destiny. You must face him again.” My ego whispered …

“Do you think about how you want people to feel when they interact with you?” He asked.

“Yes of course.” 

“How do you want people to feel?” He probed.

“Well, it depends, of course, but most of the time, respected, positive, er, hopeful.” 

“What is your process?” 


“Yea, the process of how you manipulate someone to feel the feelings you describe – respected, positive, hopeful.”

“Er …”

“Tell me a tweak you’ve made to improve this process.” He pushed.

“I get it. I don’t actually have a process. This approach sounds so robotic and unauthentic?” I relented.

“Well, we can try a different way, a way that is undoubtedly less manipulative and very direct in conveying emotions. Let me know if that works better or not, cool?” He said.


“I love you?” He asked. 

“I guess not.”