Missing Dots

I shared how I think instead of looking back to connect the dots, we should aim at creating the dots. Today, I want to share the dots I wish I created.

I was working with a boss whom I would often react to emotionally. He had a way to get on my nerves. The issue was clearly mine, as I allowed him to affect me. I became very good at evading him. I avoided confrontations. I mastered deflection.

I wished I faced up to him. I wish I worked on managing my composure. I wished I threw myself into these contentious moments more often. I would have created this dot of composure and resilience.

Because later in my career when I was more senior I had to interact with another boss that I was irritated with. This time, I had no choice but to face him, because evading was not the professional thing to do. I also represented my team, therefore my ability to work with him had bigger impact. Oh boy did I struggled. I lost my cool, failed in negotiations, lost credibility with my team, and was just ineffective. I wished I was ready. I wished I had a dot to connect to.

The point of all these? I don’t think I good at knowing what dots I need to create. I do know when I am confronted with something uncomfortable, that’s a sign of a potential dot that is worthy of my grit, a dot to #bossbetter.